FIRE UP YOUR LIFE WITH TRANSFORMATION, NOT RESOLUTION
(Dr. Case’s note: This is a long one. But it’s worth it!
If you are looking for the ten questions to review your previous resolutions, jump down to LOOKING BACK THROUGH THE RIGHT LENS – 10 QUESTIONS)
Right about now, you may be looking back at your year, thinking about the resolutions you made for 2025. The promises you declared before the clock struck twelve on December 31. The ideas you had about who you would be, what you would do, and what you would have in 2025.
Now, as you reflect, you may feel the familiar rise of disappointment that so often accompanies unrealized resolutions.
It can get ugly:
Your self-talk may taunt you about how you failed. You might feel upset that you came oh-so-close, but missed the mark. Your frustration could play out in the form of giving up on having any goals for the future.
Beating yourself up when you mess up your Resolutions?
It’s a sign that Resolutions are not the way to go this year.
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Some people have told me they were not focused enough. Others said they started strong and then drifted. Some said they bailed for reasons they couldn’t explain. Some said they were planning to do a deep dive for how to make resolutions they could keep…or how to make the “right” resolutions for next year.
No matter the phrasing, the feeling remains the same:
There’s a sense of falling short. Disappointment from not having measured up. Embarrassment or shame about unmet expectations. Loss of enthusiasm for next year. A jaded outlook at personal power.
The trap of resolutions is that they set you up to lose before you even begin.
Here’s the problem: A resolution is a binary structure. You either do it or you don’t. Either you were consistent or you were not. Anything less than full compliance feels like failure.
With resolutions, there is little place for discovery. There’s no room for real human behavior…for the way a real body or mind works. A resolution so often leads down one narrow path. And if you step off it, the entire year feels blown.
This is why I call resolutions a losing game.
Resolutions are a losing game.
Focus on Transformation, and you’ll win, every time.
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So many of us carry shame about past resolutions. Even so, we are still compelled to make one each year (even if it’s in secret). Then, we all laugh through the shame together; we chuckle at the acceptable joke, announcing the short-lived execution of our dream-state:
- My resolution lasted exactly 14 days, 9 hours, 5 minutes…
- My resolution ended before it even started.
- I stopped my resolution mid-sentence this year! So, it’s been the best one yet!
CHEERS!
But here is the truth you were never told:
The resolution was never the real story. It was only a clue. A hint about bigger, more important things.
WHAT YOU REALLY WANTED WAS TRANSFORMATION
Resolutions tend to be topical. Transformations are holistic.
A resolution is often behavioral. A transformation is always evolutional.
Your urge to make a resolution is a normal response to a deep desire to grow.
No one wakes up saying:
That’s it.
I’m done.
I’m content.
I don’t want to grow, expand, or evolve in a single other way ever again.
I’m finished.
No. Never has anyone said that, ever.
Getting rid of Resolutions doesn’t mean you are giving up.
Focusing on Transformation means you are ready for personal evolution.
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For the history of humankind, there is something inside each of us that wants to evolve.
So yes, you must answer the call when something inside you wants to shift. It’s normal, natural, and necessary to seek new possibilities for you.
And, when you do it right, it’s energizing and fun.
Any resolution you’ve made has been a surface expression of your deeper desire. In that way, it’s never been random.
It’s been a signal of a deeper movement stirring within you.
It’s a fragment of a larger transformation you desire.
When you admit to what you want your transformation to be, your inspiration fires you up in a way that is constantly expressing (rather than waiting to do it once a year on January 1st).
When you realize this, any shame about a previous unrealized resolution falls away, because you know it is part of a bigger story that you hadn’t yet grasped…or admitted…or allowed yourself to say outloud.
You want transformation. A single resolution can’t do it justice.
Looking through the right kind of lens makes all the difference.
Your Transformation is in progress. It’s time to recognize it so you can be the boss of it.
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LOOKING BACK THROUGH THE RIGHT LENS – 10 QUESTIONS BRING IT INTO VIEW
Now that you can look at this year through the lens of transformation instead of resolution, let’s take a trip down memory lane.
Make a mental note of your past resolutions. Write down whatever you remember.
At the top of the paper, write the words “My Resolutions”.
Now draw a line through resolutions, and replace it with the word transformation. “My Transformation.”
Now ask the following 10 questions. Let’s find out what comes up for you:
- What about these previous resolutions fit into the transformation I want to experience?
- Who did I hope I’d become because of the fulfillment of these resolutions?
- What have I been wanting to shift, and why?
- In what way was I hoping to evolve, and what impact would that personal evolution change for me?
- What part of my life did I most want to expand?
- What was I most longing to experience?
- What did I want to be or do or have in a new way?
- What kind of healing, solution, or satisfaction were these previous resolutions leading me toward?
- What problem was I hoping to solve?
- What do I believe the fulfillment of these resolutions would have said about me?
These ten questions help to expose the transformation that your resolutions were pointing toward.
When you answer questions like these, something important happens:
You begin to understand it’s transformation you desire, and since it is important to you, your energy increases. Suddenly, every day seems like an opportunity to go after it. You are no longer bound to one day per year.
And, when you ponder your answers, you’ll understand that you have been accomplishing microachievements towards the transformation you desire – even if it wasn’t the realization of your exact resolutions. In fact, many people have told me that bypassing a resolution was one of the best indicators of a greater truth drawing them in.
Any and every resolution you have ever made in the past was in service of a larger cycle of transformation.
But if you didn’t know that, you didn’t count your wins.
You couldn’t claim your progress.
You overlooked shifts that were important because you were measuring yourself with only a narrow definition that could not capture the whole picture.
All of your past years’ resolutions make sense when you connect the dots between them.
The dots form a line, and they point toward a transformation you want to make…and are making.
Transformation is happening.
Let me show you.
Even if you don’t save the 10,000 dollars,
maybe you are closer to your ultimate goal in other ways.
But you won’t know unless you ask the right questions.
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EXAMPLE ONE: THE SAVE TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS RESOLUTION
This resolution seems simple.
Save money. Hit a number. Do the task.
Like most resolutions, this one is a win/lose game.
And yet, the opportunity for transformation beneath it is far greater.
If you say you want to save ten thousand dollars, what transformation are you seeking?
Let’s find out.
- Maybe you want to acquire money so you can use it to make more money, imagining it as the first brick in the structure of your financial wealth.
- Maybe you have had enough financial stress for one lifetime, and you’re trying to prove to yourself that chapter is closing. It’s time for a new relationship with saving and spending.
- Or maybe it reflects a desire to have a downpayment on a home, or to create a college fund for your child, or to prepare for a future dream.
In other words, it may have nothing to do with the number at all.
Here’s the thing:
Even if you did not save the ten thousand dollars, you can still give yourself credit for transformation if you know what you desire.
- If you set up a retirement plan, or learned how to invest in something new, you are on your way to financial wealth.
- If you tracked your spending patterns for the first time, you are stepping out of financial stress.
- If you discovered new ways to purchase a home, or avoid unnecessary fees, you are moving toward ownership.
- If you put aside any amount toward a college fund, you are on the right track.
- If you created a retirement account, you are one step closer to the future you want.
Each and every one of those things is part of your transformation. And, a win. A step in your evolution. A change. Proof of movement.
You might not have saved 10,000 dollars – yet – but still be on your way to the transformation you desire.
Transformation tells the truth about what is happening.
A resolution can hide the same truth.
What do you imagine losing 10 pounds will do for you?
How many ways can you be on that path, including losing weight?
Are you doing the things that lead to your ultimate aim,
or thinking it’s only weight that will do it for you?
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EXAMPLE TWO: THE LOSE TEN POUNDS RESOLUTION
This resolution seems simple.
Lose weight. Hit a number. Do the task.
Like most resolutions, this one is a win/lose game.
And yet, the opportunity for transformation beneath it is far greater.
If you say you want to lose ten pounds, what transformation are you seeking?
Let’s find out.
- Maybe you want to feel stronger…better in your body, with less strain and more ease.
- Maybe you want your flesh to feel supple again, to enjoy a sense of youthfulness, to invest in your longevity, and to protect your health.
- Maybe you want to dress in a way that feels good and reflects who you are becoming.
- Maybe you want more confidence in social spaces, or to feel uninhibited in intimate exchanges.
In other words, you have a much bigger vision than losing “ten pounds.”
Here is the thing:
Even if you did not lose the ten pounds, you can still give yourself credit for transformation if you know what you desire.
- If you started doing planks or lunges, or simply chose to take the stairs instead of the elevator, and discovered stretches that make your body feel lithe and light, you are on your way to feeling better in your body.
Even if you lost the weight but did not lose an inch where you wanted to…
- If you hydrated more, improved your diet, took care of your skin, or discovered supplements that help your sleep, and your metabolism began to reawaken, you are on your way to having glowing skin, being healthy, rested, and burning calories faster.
Even if you only lost two pounds – not ten pounds…
- If your clothes fit your body better, you are a step closer to expressing your personal style more comfortably.
Even if you left the goal of weight loss completely untouched, and instead ended up focusing on behavioral assets…
- If you practiced introducing yourself, allowed yourself to smile even when you felt self conscious, opened up to sensual pleasures, or tried a new way of expressing yourself through touch, you are on your way to a sense of self-esteem you may never have experienced before.
There are so many ways you have already taken action in service of achieving your unique transformation.
You’ve had wins. Many wins. These are steps in your personal evolution. Proof of your success.
If you measured your year by a resolution, maybe none of it would count.
But when you measure it through the lens of transformation, it all matters.
This is why you must look at your future through the lens of transformation. It will determine whether you feel a happy ending – or not – at the end of the year.
Transformation gives you different ways to check your progress.
You are in control. You can adapt as you go. Faster. Slower. Turn Around. Take a detour.
You still get there. You get to win.
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WHY TRANSFORMATION GIVES YOU CONTROL
Many people never understand this:
A resolution is a threat. A transformation is an invitation.
A resolution says:
Do this, or you fail.
A transformation says:
Grow.
This is your direction.
Let’s go.
Threats tighten your mind and body. Invitations create space.
A resolution narrows your definition of yourself. A transformation expands it.
With a resolution, you have 365 days. With transformation, you have your whole life.
Transformation allows you to change your rhythm, your sequence, your pace…and still win. With every choice, you move forward.
Your actions are simply a reveal, showing you what’s possible, what to include, what to leave behind.
Winning builds your momentum. Momentum shapes your outcomes.
If you really do want that 10,000 in your account, it will get there through WINS; not through unrealized resolutions. If you really want to lose 10 pounds, it will happen because you’re on a winning streak.
Ask yourself The Three Transformation Questions (below), then follow your answer.
It will make all the difference in your energy, enthusiasm – and success!
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LOOKING FORWARD THROUGH THE SAME LENS
Now, focus on your transformation, not your resolutions.
Ask yourself The Three Transformation Questions:
• In what way do I want to evolve?
• What do I want to manifest?
• Who do I want to be, inside and out?
If you want to lose ten pounds, say it – but find out why it matters to you.
If you want to save ten thousand dollars, say it – but anchor it in your vision so you know what else works with it.
Get involved with your transformation. Step into the director’s chair. Make the whole movie. Not just a scene.
Using the three questions above, you can take any goal and discover the transformation beneath it, longing to be discovered.
Here are some examples:
- If you want to find a partner, your transformation includes communication, magnetism, connection, intimacy, and shared life. Any time you practice, learn, experiment, or experience any of these things, you win.
- If you want a promotion, your transformation includes leadership, authority, and recognition. Any time you engage one of them, you win.
- If you want more quality time with your family, your transformation includes boundaries, presence, and relational richness. Any time you create space for those things, you win.
When you state the goal and honor the transformation, you give yourself many, many ways to win.
This is how fulfillment is created.
THE ONLY INSTRUCTION YOU NEED FOR YOUR YEAR-END REVIEW
Replace the word resolution with transformation. Give yourself a full banquet of goals that matter to you this year. Then name the larger transformation each one belongs to.
Something happens the moment you do this.
Your internal landscape shifts from black and white to full color.
Your posture changes.
Your nervous system orients toward evolution instead of bracing for trouble.
A different future comes into view: one shaped by who you are becoming, not by whether you completed a checklist.
There is no dread in this approach whatsoever. You don’t enter your future with a threat hanging over you. You step forward with curiosity, interest, and awe.
Because the moment you take even the smallest action, you get to say: Score!
Not because the task was perfect, but because you acted on purpose.
You can acknowledge many actions to be signs of transformation. They are all proof your life is evolving in its own unique way.
Every thought.
Every shift.
Every decision.
Every challenge.
Every failure.
Every success.
Big or small…
Every moment you choose alignment with your intended transformation you win.
Give yourself all the micro-wins that shape the macro of your life.
Your outcomes will manifest not through a single triumphant leap, but through the steady process of evolution.
You are not here to perform resolutions. You are here to transform.
So, see your life through that lens. It will become unmistakably clear:
Transformation is already happening.
It has been happening.
And the moment you claim it, you’ll feel so much more powerful…and happy.
This year, let transformation be the foundation of your future rising within you..
Because when it is, you win not someday, not when everything is perfect, but every day, in every direction, with every step you take.
And that is how your life evolves in a way that feels meaningful and fulfilling.
